September 30, 2009 · 3 Comments
10. I can whine about mid 80s temperatures 100 degree weather and not be pummeled (in both the physical and verbal sense) by the eavesdropping public.
9 1/2. Prostitutes are generally indistinguishable from the rest, or rather a large portion of the normal female population is generally indistinguishable from prostitutes… guilty.
9. It’s 50/50 whether she is his date or his daughter…
8 1/2. We are the melting pot of the US melting pot… just divided into various districts and subcultures. Little Ethiopia anyone?
8. The street signs in the neighborhood actually say “Little Ethiopia.” (That’s right, LA is legit.)
7. We can drive (but we fly) to Vegas.
6. ANYONE wearing large sunglasses and red lipstick in Hollywood or Beverly Hills is a magnet for tourists and cameras.
5. Gay Pride, Bitches!
4 1/2. Other cities: OMG IT’S A FILM CREW! DO YOU SEE ANY MOVIE STARS?!? WHAT ARE THEY FILMING!?!? OMG I DON’T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT I WANT THEIR AUTOGRAPHS!
Los Angeles: FUCK FILMING, AGAIN!?!? HERE’S TAKING ANOTHER DETOUR…
4. Other cities: OMG I SAW ON TMZ LAST NIGHT, BRITNEY SPEARS TOTALLY RAN OVER A GUY’S FOOT! THAT’S LIKE SOO CRAZY!
Los Angeles: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! MY FOOT!
3. Yellow traffic lights actually do mean speed up.
2. Los Angeles people aren’t snobbish like San Francisco “Northern California People.” Though we may eat 100% organic, we are 100% FAKE, and we don’t give a damn about it.
1. Los Angeles is an addiction, the greatest love/hate relationship of all time.
Categories: Discourse
Tagged: AngeLingo, Beverly Hills, Britney Spears, Gay Pride, Hollywood, humor, LA, Little Ethiopia, Los Angeles, prostitutes, random, rants, sarcasm, subcultures, Top Ten, USC, Vegas
Categories: Digressions
Tagged: bar, Fame, Go-Go dancers, Hollywood, Limp Wristed, Los Angeles, Neon Social, nightclub, party, Rage, Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood
